Today started off as a hard day. By the time I got to work, my eyes were red and puffy from crying all the way to work. I just couldn't stop. I could barely drive and at one point I realized that it was becoming a safety issue. Of course, after I got to work, I ran into everyone possible and parents even came in to visit this morning. And there I am with swollen red eyes, assuring them of the great day that their child and I will have. I know that they must think that I am having problems at home or something. I guess I am, in a sense. Things will never feel 100% the same again. This is our new life, living without Jamie physically here and dealing with the aftermath, repercussions, permanent aftershocks of his murder. I still can't believe it some days. I woke up in the middle of last night, felt my shirt that I was wearing with his picture and thought, I CANNOT believe this, I just can't believe it. Then I talk to his mother, who has so much faith, wisdom and strength throughout all of this, who is constantly praising God and I am so awed by her that then I end up crying to her. I am praying that tomorrow will start off a little better.
Thank God that today was a costume parade and party. It took my mind off of things and the children and I did indeed, have a great day.
Praying to fight the hate.
D
Proverbs 3
Romans 8:28, 31
2 comments:
Oh Dana. I just read through your posts. My heart aches for your loss. Life can be so hard, so dark and so painful. I can't imagine how people live without the HOPE of Jesus and FAITH in His promises.
May the Lord comfort you as you grieve and strengthen you. For some things there are just more questions than answers but we know WHO holds all the answers in the world and one day HE will wipe away every tear from our eyes and all wrongs WILL be made right. The enemy who has come to steal, kill and destroy will terrify NO MORE.
Love in Him Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
Holly from Purpose Driven Family
You are in my prayers. Remain strong and know that God will bring you through. You will have rough days, but you will make it through.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I am from NC as well. I do not reside there now, but thats where my family is.
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