Grief

I feel like I am going through all of the stages of grief every few days, and sometimes, daily. Sometimes, I am so sad that I cannot stop crying. Other times, I just can’t believe that this has happened. It feels unreal. Then there are the times where I am so angry that I feel I could destroy something, walls, buildings, etc., with my mere hands. God help me please. Please. So many why’s.
I cry so much, so randomly, so uncontrollably, that my children are not even fazed as much by the tears sliding down my cheeks or if they happen to hear me at night in bed or in the bathroom crying. They just ask me am I okay, give me a tissue and hug me. I know that it should not be this way and I PRAY that it will not always be. My heart, soul and mind weeps at times for my young cousin who DID NOT deserve this. I long to have just 1 more day with him.
***Please take the time to tell the people who matter that you love them. If you are reading this, please know that you matter to me and I love you.***

Today was a hard day. Lord, please let tomorrow be better. D
Psalm 126:5-6, John 16:33